Smart phone regret?

It's time for dinner and you call your 12 year old and 13 year old to the table, as you are looking forward to catching up after a busy day of work and school. After numerous tries they walk in staring at their phones and proceed to put them on the table next to their plates sullenly, without eye contact. As you try to engage them with questions about their day, the ping of the phone draws their attention, and there is little conversation, so you ask them to put the phones away during dinner. A fight ensues and after much resistance the phones are put away, but the relaxing dinner you had planned is ruined...

Does this sound familiar? If so, you are not alone. We know from research and anecdotal evidence the smart phone has become ubiquitous in our society and homes. How has the use of screens affected family life and children's ability to self regulate? These are questions I ponder as a parent and Professor in the field of Early Childhood Education. I see students in the classroom who become visibly anxious if they are asked to remove their phones during class. I speak with teachers who tell me they can't keep children's attention as they are used to the instant shot of dopamine a peak at a smart phone provides. And I hear parents lament they are no longer in control of their homes or phone use, the phone controls them and their children.

Is there hope for this scenario? I believe there is, but it is up to us to bring back simplicity and mindfulness to parenting and our interactions with our children. The good news is that there are tools and strategies based on best practices and guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics, which we can implement to restore balance and reset our interactions with our loved ones and our technology. My hope is to share those best practices with you and your family.

Laura Brewer, M.S. Counseling